i think i've made progress with this issue and understand it alittle better.From what i gather,using romlister,as hyperspin site suggest and following the instructions on their site i think it goes something like this.
i could over write the xml file with the one i have from my roms and hyperspin will show them in its list,but it isn't exactly set the way hyperspin would normally use it.if i use romlister one of the last steps is to set it for hyperspin and the reason is because of the rom names having all the extra info in them,such as the usa ver1 or jap ver3.they work but the problem comes when you download the movies from emu,the rom names have to match exactly with the no nag type hyperspin expects to see.So in short,it would work to just replace the xml with mine,but many movies and themes may not work,but using romlister will do everything i needed it to do and work for hyperspin.
Then again i could be totally wrong or explained it all incorrectly,but i got it working fine so problem solved.